The Little Blogdorf: Reno’s Got Talent
July 30th, 2010 is the official date of the first ever Little Waldorf Reno’s Got Talent talent show. Employees and customers and friends and family are all welcome to showcase their talent whatever it is. As a little incentive we will give anyone who signs up for the talent show a free beverage. Furthermore, the 1st place prize is 100 dollars cash. That’s right 100 dollar-inos, a century’s worth of duckets, Uno-oh-oh units of cash-ola.
The following is the list of employee sign ups as of late.
Screw Cuban.
Brian “Cuban” Ostrom
Outline of Experience: “In 3rd grade I won the school talent show by pounding an entire bottle of Hot Damn and giving myself an atomic wedgie in less then 8 seconds. That’s when my parents decided to ‘stop raising me’.”
Talent: “I plan on shape shifting into 7 penguins.”
Plans for the $100 prize: “I’m going to spend all of it on 2-dollar bills.”
Mike “Miggity” Geraghty
Outline of Experience: “ I took 2nd place in a nation wide Viking mascot competition. I would have won but the judges said I referenced raping and pillaging an ‘uncomfortable’ amount of times.”
Talent: “I’m going to stick to what I do best: head butting Cuban. I think I can break my previous record of getting him to speak nothing but gibberish for two hours.”
Plans for the $100 prize: “I’m going to do the responsible thing and invest all of it in the Reno Big Horns D-League NBA franchise. I think there is a lot of long-term stability in that. I mean, they almost beat McQueen last year in front of an audience of 6 hobos.”
Aaron Satter aka Snake, Bar tender, Waldorf's resident Home Boy, Our dream- your nightmare, and 3-time All-American Stratego champion.
Aaron “Snake” Satter
Outline of Experience: “Bro, I played Cali Ju-Co bro. Know what I’m sayin’? Plus I learned how to walk when I was one.”
Talent: “ M’in the B bro! M’in the B homie!”
*When asked to explain what that meant Satter stated, “Bro, it’s whatevers homie. Know what I’m sayin’?”
** No one knows what he’s saying. Ever.
Plans for the $100 prize: “You know damn well I’m going to buy another fog machine.”
I didn't have a pic of Beast Master so I just used this picture of his last birthday party
John “Beast Master” Newman
Outline of Experience: “At one point I held the record in Fallon, Nevada for most Leatherman’s and keys connected to a single belt.”
*When asked how many- his response was, “All of them.”
Talent: “ I’m going to showcase my team of trained ferrets and their ability to oil my leather jacket…not my winter leather jacket…my summer leather jacket.”
Plans for the $100 prize: “It will be a respectable down payment for that Battle Star Galactica commemorative plate that the jerk-face at the pawn shop said I’d never be able to afford… I can’t wait for Dante to eat his words!”
Posted by Greg on July 19, 2010 at 8:36 pm
Lognard of the Lake Video… best thing I have ever seen!
Posted by The Little Blogdorf on July 19, 2010 at 10:35 pm
Thanks Greg, it really helps me get babes.
Well, actually, it hasn’t helped me get babes but it has helped me get beards.
Posted by megan mills on July 19, 2010 at 9:00 pm
how come nobody’s showcasing their fart skills? i’d definitely have to attend if that was the case. it would also contribute to my ongoing research in the chosen field of fartology. sounds like a good time even w/o the fart show. peace
Posted by The Little Blogdorf on July 19, 2010 at 10:34 pm
Meg-
I had to try very hard not to make any fart jokes in this blog. But none of them would have been as funny as your comment, so thanks for covering that base for me.
Posted by Dave W on July 20, 2010 at 2:56 am
Mike,
This was so entertaining, that I’ve decided to throw my name into the proverbial pot, consider this my official application.
Outline of Experience: “I’m an asian man with a white man’s name. C’mon! That’s like an apple pie with dragon wings.”
Talent: “Nah, I’m good.”
Plans for the $100 prize: “I plan to get it…in the same way villains mean when they say, “I’ll get you next time, Gadget!”
Posted by The Little Blogdorf on July 20, 2010 at 8:41 am
Dave W.-
If you were an apple pie with dragon wings your name would be Apple Dumpling Yang. Believe it or not that is better then the “dragon-berry” joke I had lined up.
~LW