The Little Blogdorf: Cuban’s Simple Ass Dates a Girl for 2 Weeks Before he Realizes She’s a Thanksgiving Turkey.
Brian "Cuban" Ostrom, bar tender, Waldorf Press Secretary, Human Centipede enthusiast
The following transcript is of text messages sent from Brian “Cuban” Ostrom’s cell phone to “friend” Michael “Miggity” Geraghty. Cuban confided in Michael with the notion that a “friend” as good as Michael would never exploit his trust by publishing his inner and secret feelings on the Internet.
Please, enjoy.
cell phone. Used for text messaging. Cuban thinks it's a living Nano-pet. I've seen him try to feed it.
From: Cuban
Miggs! I met a girl! I went home w/ her on the first nite but we didnt go all the way Cuz she’s a lady. Her name is Gobbleriela?? Prob from wstrn asia by the sound of her accent.I think I like her a lot!
Nov 3, 9:37 am
Stored:
Nov 3, 11:38 am
From: Cuban
Yo, I just hung out with that girl again 2nite. She doesnt talk much bt she loves my jokes & has an adorable/unique laugh. Dont wanna give away 2 much Dtail bt she’s way soft!
Nov 4, 10:30 pm
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Nov 4, 10:30 pm
From: Cuban
Sumthin strange happened last nite… we were havn a romantic walk thru the park and she took off into the brush. It took me 3 hrs to find her. We havent talked about it yet
Nov 6, 2:30 pm
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Nov 6, 2:31 pm
From: Cuban
We finally did it last nite! She did things I’ve never heard of. Weird thing is I had to pretend 2 b the girl. It was hot. Think we ripped the mattress…feathers everywhere!
Nov 8, 10:00 am
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Nov 8, 10:38 am
From: Cuban
Yo Im gonna b late for work. Lost track o time w/ with my lady. She loves my hands she’s been tracing them with crayon all afternoon
Nov 9, 4:00 pm
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Nov 9 4:oo pm
From: Cuban
I introduced my folks to her @ dinner. My dad says he’s ashamed of me. I guess sum pple aren’t used to interracial couples. I think my girl is sum kinda vegan hippy she only ate the corn then she pooped in the bushes
Nov 11, 11:00 pm
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Nov 11, 11:00 pm
From: Cuban
I might need 2 break things off with Gobbleriela. Think she’s hiding sumthin from me.
Nov 12, 3:00 pm
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Nov 12, 3:00 pm
From: Cuban
I just watched a special on the history channel about Thanksgiving. I saw sum shit man. Call me we need to talk.
Nov 13, 2:30 am
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Nov 13, 2:30 am
From: Cuban
I forgot u said u would never call me or talk to me outside of work so ill just txt u…I think gobbleriela is a turkey. Im pretty sure actually. It would explain a lot. Should I confront her? Just dump her? What do u think?
Nov 13, 3:30 am
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Nov 13, 3:30 am
From: MIKE GERAGHTY
Cuban. You R an idiot. C u @ work.
Nov 13, 3:31 am
Stored:
Nov 13 3:31 am
The Little Blogdorf 